I've been on board Oceans Of Hope for one month now. It seems incredible and it seems such a short time ago that I arrived hot, sweaty and tired at Galapagos. My adventure started at the train station in Brighton, my adopted new home and has continued thousands of miles to this point, just south of Nuku Hiva. Location: slap bang in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Mikkel is now on board and has re-invigorated our spirits and highlighted our big achievement so far. It’s a pretty cool thing to say that I have sailed across the Pacific, the peaceful ocean.

The Galapagos showed us some extraordinary wildlife and now The Marquesas have shown us some jaw dropping geography. Prehistoric mountains shrouded in mist, waterfalls that carve channels in the volcanic rock the height of skyscrapers whose freshwater feeds lush forests of natural delights such as pineapples, coconuts and mangos. My goodness this is one island where superlatives are redundant.

Our first site of Nuku Hiva was in the early hours, all we saw was the jagged outline of the hills against the moonlit sky. Ancient mariners must have been really courageous professionals to have safely navigated these volcanic ejaculations. For these old sea dogs their reception wasn't quite as welcoming as it is now. The islands used to be populated by cannibals and they were lucky to survive any interaction with the locals. However, in the year 2015, I am relieved to say that the practice of cannibalism is not as popular and that the welcome everyone receives from the locals is so very warm and welcoming. I am racking my brains to think of a warmer welcome that I have received anywhere else in the world. This place really does make me happy.

This evening we are chugging along a smooth sea after a fabulous sunset and the hypnotic engine, known as Mr. Perkins doing his thing. During this time, although noisier than what true sailors want, I don't mind Mr. Perkins throbbing away, chewing up the miles for us.

So anyway, now that we are back into the watch system, I need to continue from where I left off last time, I wanted to tell you where I am now – on a journey within myself. Within my thoughts and fears, and most importantly, my hopes.

What strikes me about this trip is listening to others who put up with so many more compromises than me. I hope they don't mind me saying this, but some of these guys and gals have had to make more compromises to their way of being on a daily basis than I have had to make in a year. I do not know how they do it. I really don't. They are inspiring in a way I thought I would not notice.

Some have visible limitations and others not so visible. Each different. Each requiring huge amounts of energy and motivation to get up out of their bunk and get on with the day. Each requiring not only courage to jump around on deck, but each requiring patience and understanding of the others on board.

Each day, through listening, I find other compromises that people have to make in order to get the most that they can possibly get out of or even contribute to a situation.

I can see in each of their eyes that they are aiming for 100%, but I see a wisdom too that accepts that maybe they only get 50% from an experience, but that's OK. However, and this is an important point, if they did not aim for that 100%, they would never achieve the feats they achieve every day. For that, I feel humbled by all, young and old. I just get tired, feel weak and also loose things quite a lot.

Before this trip, I only really knew one person with MS and the thought of being in her position was really scary. I now only think how strong she must be, each and every day.

I am lucky, if I get tired or low, I can just go to bed or hibernate in my flat until my energy is recharged. I take my hat off to people who have to fight pain just to go to the shops. I take my hat off to people who cannot remember their children's birthdays or even their names. I take my hat off to people who cannot walk. People who cannot see. People who fight with the fear that hope may have gone from their lives. People who decline with every passing day AND STILL CARRY ON.

It is these people, I look to for strength now.



Well that was all written last night and today has proved a real test for me. This morning from 0500 until 0700, Frederik, Mikkel and I helped put the world to rights as well as finding out more about each other. The sun came up as we chatted and it was a real good start to the day. According to the weather report, we have some good winds coming today that will help us on our way to Fakarava. I went to bed and didn’t get out of the sweaty coffin of my bunk until noon!!! At this point, I had to start with making lunch for us all. Then came the shout that we were going to get the sails up!! hoorah!! I knew that I was tired and I knew I should have let them get on with it, but I think the enthusiasm got the better of me and I got my life jacket on and ran up top, leaving Sandy to continue with the lunch prep.

I played a part in hoisting the main spinnaker and then hoisting the scarily large spinnaker (352 square metres). And boy did this knacker the shit out of me. It really did. And when you get tired, you lose balance a little each time. Your communication and coordination gets worse and you just try and keep going.

All this time, I am aware of what is going on within me and I start to become angrier by the minute. Not with anyone, not with the situation, but with myself. I’m fucking angry... I’m fucking angry at me. I can’t even do the simplest thing without getting fucking tired. It annoys the hell out of me. My shoulder has been hurting for days now, Ocean Of Hope has tested my strength today. I'm trying to do too much but I cannot give in to being fucking tired. It's not in my nature and I'm not going to let it and my anger beat me on this occasion.

As usual, my shipmates have brought me back to sanity. Thank god for some humorous little shits that have made me laugh. It’s funny how important laughter is. After a few frustrating tears, laughter rules, laughter rocks. Laughter is the leveller, laughter is the juggernaut smashing through any possible thoughts of self pity. On this occasion, laughter started over the simplest of things, a packet of Werther's Originals.

Report from Bosun Bertram:
The spinnaker team lives on! Genoa and mainsail during the night, and spinnaker up in the morning. 8-9 knots towards Fakarava, most of the crew sleeping and not a worry in sight. That was, until a faulty knot on the windward sheet on the enormous spinnaker snapped, and suddenly the whole sail was out of control. Initial cover and then calm troubleshooting from our crew. Steadily on deck, sock on the spinnaker and back in the bag. Genoa up instead and on we went. Fortunately the spinnaker was intact, and we plan to set it tomorrow again. "The Spinnaker Team lives on", like Bernd said.

Local time onboard is 15:25 and our current position is 14,22.77S , 143,42.31W